Let’s just jump straight into this treasure trove of academic delight.
University of Leicester – MA Country House (Art, History and Literature)
This course focuses on, funnily enough, the country house. Including modules such as the thrilling ‘Country House Research Skills’ and the equally as effervescent ‘The Country House and its Collections’, becoming a Master of country houses is a surefire way to make any potential employer look at your CV.
It’s just a shame that it’s likely to be because they’re mocking your poor life choices with their colleagues.
University of Buckingham – MA in The English Country House 1485-1945 by Research
Just in case Leicester’s delightful offering wasn’t enough, the University of Buckingham allow you to expand your country house-based horizons even more with this utterly delightful research offering, specialising in the 460 years between 1485 and 1945. Because clearly, anything outside that range would be just too niche.
And if Leicester’s taught programme was too school-like for you, Buckingham’s programme is research based; there is nothing more delightful than page after page of country house-based fun!
Birkbeck, University of London – MA in History of Ideas
So this programme covers basically anything. Modules include ‘Venice and Istanbul, 1453-1797’, ‘Monastic Lives in Medieval England’ and of course, the riveting ‘Civil Society: Ideas, Practices and Dilemmas in the Modern World, 17th Century to the Present’.
It’s a tad elitist though – it doesn’t include ideas such as “that fifth Jägerbomb will go down great” or “Oooh, a kebab is just what I need after that jäger”. Such snobbery is unfounded.
West Dean College – Postgraduate Diploma in Conservation of Clocks
Not a Masters, but this was stupid enough to warrant inclusion. To pass, you’ll need to develop both hand and machine skills in clockmaking, and write essays on restoration of clocks.
It’s understandable that people like clocks, and some really, really like clocks, but to do a postgraduate diploma in clocks? Do what normal people do and go and get one from Argos.
Plumpton College – MSc Viticulture and Oenology
Awarded by the University of Brighton, this masters is about management of vineyards. One for all the budding alcoholics out there, this doesn’t actually seem as stupid as some of the others discussed.
After all, would you want bad wine? It’s highly unlikely you’d say yes, so if you ever fancy revolutionising Aldi’s £2.99 plonk, feel free to do this course and share your knowledge with the world.
University of Bristol – MA in the Country House and its Landscape
Does more really need to be said? Modules for this waste of cash include ‘Country Houses and Gardens (1580-1714)’, ‘Country Houses (1714-1820)’, ‘Eighteenth-Century Gardens and Landscapes’ and ‘Twentieth-Century Architecture and Gardens’.
The USP of this one? The course ends with a garden party!