So I was sat at home one Thursday night, eating my dinner – Carbonara, thank you for asking – and I read that a UCLan student had put himself forward for a peerage to give young people a voice in Parliament.
Before you read on, watch this:
You know what else you’re unlikely to hear in the House of Lords? Lord Molyneux of Squires Gate. And do you know why? Because the House of Lords does not need shameless, self-promoting people like Tom Molyneux, and the system is designed to keep them out.
I don’t know what’s in this kid’s head – it’s not like he’s going to be able to go “Nah, f**k running the country. Lady Hale, Viscount Thurso, fancy skipping the Queen’s Speech and going to Spoons’ curry club?”
What does a 23 year old broadcast journalism student have to offer the country? Literally nothing.
I’m sure people like Alf Dubs, who fled Nazi-occupied Czechoslovakia, and then devoted his life to fighting for the refugee cause, will be delighted to see such a mockery of his role.
Or Baroness Farrington, who has been fighting for local government since the 1970s, and at 76 is still going strong.
Or Viscount Thurso, who was a peer, got removed by Blair’s reforms, and then won a parliamentary seat so he could still give people a voice, and when a vacancy came for his party, re-entered the Lords – a truly committed public servant.
“Nah, f**k running the country. Lady Hale, Viscount Thurso, fancy skipping the Queen’s Speech and going to Spoons’ curry club?”
Now, Mr Molyneux’s campaign is based around the idea that he’s still young. Well, three key points on that:
- Why should we give the highest honour in the realm to someone who’s not even left uni purely because of the year he was dropped from his mum’s chuff?
- So he thinks it’ll be sticking it to the system to create a literal career politician, who never has to win an election, and who never has to voice the concerns of anyone but himself?
- Why would the House of Lords Appointments Commission give a peerage to a (in my opinion) fairly scruffy yuppie who’s never had any real-world professional experience of value, who spent his entire campaign vilifying people because of their age?!
Do you know why they tend to be old?
Because they’re experts in their field!
You know what else is amusing?
The youngest MP is Mhairi Black (SNP – Paisley and Renfrewshire South), at 22 years old. Since 1880 – a full 136 years – our youngest MP has never been older than thirty. If he’s trying to claim that young people have no voice, then he’s absolutely full of it.
Now, perhaps Mr Molyneux is actually just very sexually curious and wants to experience life surrounded by DILFs, MILFs, and GILFs for the rest of his days. But I doubt that.
Believe it or not, I think it’s a clever way of Molyneux generating interest in his personal brand. It’s a good job he does, really, as when you focus your campaign on hating the old purely because they’ve aged, you’re not the kind of person who should be in the House of Lords.